Mom's Eulogy

If any of you don't happen to know, my mother passed away on Sunday, 4/24/2022. She was 76 years old and was married to my father for 61 of them...

I had the honor of speaking during her funeral, and this is what I wrote. I usually keep writings like this personal, but I also want everyone to know how special my mother was to me and my family. I wrote most of this the day after she passed away..

Mom…

On behalf of our family, Marcus, Sandra and my dad…. Thank you for being here today.

All of you know our mom and you have your own memories with her and we’ve heard so many this week…I just want to take the time to reflect on what I’ve experienced this past week….. 

“I’m seeing my mother dying right in front of my eyes,” is what I was thinking as I was staring at her on Saturday in her rehabilitation room. It was a moment of total clarity, something that I could actually “see.”

When I was in town last weekend to see Mom, I knew she was sick, but I didn’t realize how sick. I went to the hospital and looked at her and I knew that what I was hearing from my father, brother and sister was true after all. She was weak. Not just weak physically, but you could see the mental weakness in her also. I didn’t say this to anyone, not even my own wife. I just kept it to myself. I remember eating dinner with Marcus, Sandra and dad and I said “I hate to say this, but we have to be prepared for Mom to pass away.” I didn’t say it forcefully. I actually said it like a throwaway line in a movie. Yet here I was, one week later, in the hospital speaking to Mom like I always do, like she isn’t sick at all. 

I speak to her this way because ever since I was about 12 years old, my mother has been in and out of the hospital for several reasons. Heart attack, stroke, kidney failure, which, by the way, was a complete honor and a privilege to help her through.. She’s always bounced back, though. I even thought that this could have happened again, but yet here I am, writing about her, post-death.

Dad and I got home from the rehab center and we started looking for Mom’s wedding dress. While I was looking, my wife called me and was checking up on me. I told her that I was looking for Mom’s dress, but all I see are memories.  I realized then, that I still look at Mom and Dad’s house through 7-10 year old eyes. I can still see mom cooking dinner, like a whirlwind, for us all of those years while I was sitting at the bar table, which is now gone. I always remember Mom playing Tejano music while she was cooking or cleaning.  The house was always clean, Mom always said that you never know who was showing up. 

It was always me and Mom. Dad was always working and worked either swing or night shift until I got to high school. Mom and I were like road dogs, you would never see her without me for sure. We went to get her hair done at Vicky’s, I was there. Grocery shopping, I was there also. Softball games that she played, I was there, too. Every night we would go to my grandmother Aurora’s house and Mom would comb her hair. It didn’t matter where we went, I loved every second of it.

My mom loved my friends also. They were always welcome to the house and could stay as long as they wanted.  I had people in and out of the house all of the time. Some of them would even come to visit my mom or dad just to talk to them, even when I wasn’t around. 

My mother and father gave me everything that I needed to know about life. They loved me, communicated with me, but most of all, they set the example of how a married couple could live. They were NOT perfect, but being together since 60+ years, how could I not take away anything from that for my own marriage?

I was very lucky to have the mother I had. She never judged me and always gave good advice. She accepted my wife into the family as one of her own, just as she did with Natalie, and also just as she did with Roy,  and I absolutely loved the way she looked and interacted with my children. It was always a certain “look” that she gave that I knew that she loved not only my children, but our family as a whole. Sometimes that’s all it takes is a look to know that the love is there.

I’m not usually a scripture quoting person, but I’ll close with one now that my brother, Marcus, provided. It’s from the book of revelation.

Revelation 21:4 - He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Love you, Mom! You’re the best, ever.